FC -> KPop Idols
Warning! Seperti biasa, ini hanyalah post tidak berguna yang tidak akan memperkaya pengetahuan anda. Pengetahuan yang digunakan disini sangat spesifik, jokes yang ditulis juga sulit dimengerti letak punch-linenya karena memang tidak ada. Masih di paragraf warning, berhubung ini masih basa-basi sekalian aja satu paragraf, post kali ini sekedar guyonan belaka seputar khayalan anak muda yang menggemari sepakbola dan musik pop Korea. Setelah membaca hingga kalimat ini seharusnya sudah tertebak apakah topik post kali ini, tapi karena saya baik hati maka saya akan memberitahu secara eksplisit bahwa topik post ini adalah analogi Artis musik pop Korea terhadap tim bola. Sekian peringatannya, silakan melanjutkan dengan risiko ditanggung sendiri.
Sebelum masuk ke bagian utamanya, saya akan menjelaskan terlebih dahulu dasar pengelompokannya. Liga Inggris mewakili boy group karena permainannya yang cenderung lebih mengandalkan fisik. Liga Spanyol melambangkan girl group karena permainannya yang merupakan personifikasi keindahan (oke, sebetulnya bukan karena itu tapi sekedar biar gampang). Serie A mewakili penyanyi solo pria, teknik dan blablabla lebih diutamakan. Sisanya mewakili penyanyi solo wanita karena blablabla dan walaupun menarik akan tetapi pengetahuan saya terbatas. Penjelasan yang diberikan pun ala kadarnya, jelas karena ini tidak ada analisis yang mendalam :p
BPL
1. Manchester United = 2PM
Both of them have a `wonderful` Boss, capable of hair-drying treatment. Coveted by glory hunters. Always a bit too physical on the pitch, and a bit too lucky on penalties or ‘extra’ time.
2. Chelsea = Big Bang
Constantly in the highest level of the game. Consists of superstars in various fields of expertise. Coveted by glory hunters, hated by another clubs glory hunters. VIPs celebrates the glory with boozes and enjoy endless beautiful hangover through the season.
3. Liverpool = DBSK
They were the domestic and continent king up in the cloud. Declining of collective play caused by departure of key players brought them to the earth. The only way their superstar can go back to the highest level is by abandon the ship :p
4. Arsenal = SHINee
Young, talented, weak. Young guns consists of the most creative individual. Lacking in physical department, even the lucifer himself needs a lot of ring ding dong to help.
5. Everton = Super Junior
Consistently say sorry to their fans for the lack of trophies. For their fanatic elf, there’s no other team in their heart.
6. Man. City = 2 AM
Less popular than the other side of the moon. Embodiment of technical skills, thanks to their hardwork.. or hard cash.
7. Aston Villa =CN Blue
Rigid, solid, a little bit not too mainstream.
8. Tottenham = FT Island
Successful comeback, finally broke down the wall of big four. They have to prove they can survive in the jungle.
La Liga
1. Real Madrid = SNSD
Gee, do you even need explanation? Tell me what your wish, punk. Watching them play is like walking into the new world, where 9 players relentlessly attacks. Did I say nine? Oh, one red card reserved for Pepe and only a saint left behind.
2. Barcelona = Wonder Girls
Tell me what so fascinating about them? Its form was so hot, they won almost every single game on their last campaign. Dedicated for nobody but the love of the game.
3. Atletico Madrid = f(x)
Always in the shadow of big sis. Loved by many for their showcases of talents.
4. Valencia = After School
Held the highest possibility to take over the reign from 2 giants. Bravely seek out chances to dominate only to find themselves struggling to retain their place on the top level.
5. Sevilla = KARA
The only one that can steal trophies from the big 2. Why would the giants let them mister?
6. Athletic Bilbao = BEG
Proud to fight in their own way. They have the `attitude` to magically produce the best results possible.
7. Villareal = 4minute
Always the hot issues, never the champion.
Serie A
Niat ngarang alasan dan bahan karangan sudah habis. Berikutnya dengan penjelasan seadanya atau tanpa penjelasan sama sekali.
1. Inter = Rain
Simply invincible for last several years. The most successful at the moment. If only time can stop forever..
2. AC Milan = Tae Jin Ah
The most prominent singer/team and senior in his field, which is being old and still awesome.
3. Roma = Kim Tae Woo
Boast the best technical ability. The bear is only big enough to secure not-so-important trophy.
4. Juventus = Se7en
Deemed by many as the best ever. No, he is not the operating system.
5. Genoa = Lee Seung Gi
Too much talent.
6. Napoli = Seo In Kook
Tried a bit too hard to be number one. Never realize that he never will.
7. Palermo = K-Will
Technically gifted, but lack too many things.
8. Udinese = Kim Jong Kook
Burdensome.
Sisa
1. Bayern Munchen = Lee Hyori
Mighty last spurt when the clock is only 10 minutes away.
2. Lyon = BoA
Was the best, dominating the area for several years before the fortune escaped.
3. Werder Bremen = Baek Ji Young
Candy for others ears.
4. Ajax =Ivy
Was the best, not that hot anymore.
5. OM = Son Dam Bi
What do you want to see on saturday night? Me too.
6. Bordeaux = Gummy
Like a man, means you’re not man enough.
7. AS Monaco = Insooni
Hey, she’s not an idol! They’re not just an ordinary FC either.
8. P*SI = YJS
Comedian? I thought we’re talking about idols.
